I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Are my feet made of real feet?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
