i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
