They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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