you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize