she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Randomize
