i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
