he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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