all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
