I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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