I'm gonna have a badass scar
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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