Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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