I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
