Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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