butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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