I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's shark week go big or go home
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
