For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
