she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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