Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
