Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
