come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
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I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
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No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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