Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
