if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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