my room smells like sperm. sweet.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he was CRYING into my vagina
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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