her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
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I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
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Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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