Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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