That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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