Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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