Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
