I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
