Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize