the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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