I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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