He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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