Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
