She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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