I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
