y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So here I am, sexting at work.
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