i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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