You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I wish you could order shots online.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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