You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I had to cum in my sink.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
