this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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