put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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