we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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