oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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