She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
