we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
