haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize