I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
