And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My vagina is very pro this idea
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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