You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
