Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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