so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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