There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.