I want to walk on stilts...naked
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize