im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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