Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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