Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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