Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
