I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
