okay pat passed out under dana's car
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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