I want to stick my p in your. b.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
